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/sigh. shit.

Oct. 13th, 2009 | 11:54 pm
location: where else ?
mood: upset

i need to get out of here, more than anything.
i am so unhappy.
i feel like such a fuck up.
i need to get out of here.

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(no subject)

Oct. 2nd, 2009 | 07:11 pm

i forgot i wrote that other entry and i forget what my username and password is for this shit all the time.
anyway, i was supposed to do one million things today but instead i couldnt move because im lazy.
and im supposed to go to the show in vero but i really dont want to for some reason.
but i will.
i hate school and i also hate everything.
/sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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hmm

Sep. 14th, 2009 | 01:14 am

well.
i dont know, my brain is moving really quickly.
ive had all too much caffeine today.
i still have to fold my clothes and shower and study for anthropology, its alright.
maybe i should go do that.
and write a substantial entry tomorrow ha.
yeah,

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(no subject)

Apr. 30th, 2009 | 01:03 am

i have been alright,
i failed this semester and i suck at life, but ive been alright.
and ive been talking to michael again.
not like "talking" talking, but speaking to.
meh, i dont know.
im just so happy that tomorrow is my last day of school for the semester.

i wish i wasnt so tired all the time.
and i wish i had a boy, i dont want much, i just want someone to lay with me at all times haha.

gosh, i just dont know.
i feel really strange right now.

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(no subject)

Jan. 21st, 2009 | 12:39 am
mood: peacefulpeaceful

i only know how to write in list form but i really want to try to get my point across.

my mom was literally in the hospital more than half of my childhood.
my uncle dying when i was in third grade was..monumental in my life.
and i have, unfortunately, no jokes, wanted to die since the sixth grade.

as of pretty recent, i can honestly say (well..i dont want to say it) but i am happy.
im scared that me saying it is going to fuck me over, because everytime in the past that i would have an exceptional week and think i was getting better, i would just like..crash again. and hate everything again. and want to die all over again. i havent done anything harmful to myself since the summer. i had my first relationship, and although that did NOT turn out how i had hoped, i really am over it and i just hope that he gets an std and no one will touch him ever again :p . im kidding. i do want him to be happy. and he is, hes back with cheyenne and he is thrilled. so good. and i think that next semester i am going to tell the fucking counselors to suck it and maybe i do actually want to be a teacher, NOT an accountant..

im losing weight and im not doing anything i shouldnt, i never really feel too awkward ever because i hang out with who i want to, not who i am forced to, im soooort of persuing a new boy, i stay high alot, and i really have never been happier with my life.

i am now completely vegetarian and i probably sound kind of dumb saying this, but i love it so so much!.  i havent litered in a while, i turn off all the lights all the time,, all the fans, and i have been like..unplugging things, im trying. i really wish i could do more though.

i watched the inaugeration (duh)  today and it was wonderful (another duh) .
i dont do anything i dont want to do, except for the fact that im taking all the wrong classes and i hate work :p, but besides that i mean, i really cant complain.
and i love it so much<33.

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(no subject)

Dec. 25th, 2008 | 03:40 am

is that what you call a getaway?.
then tell me what you got away with.
cause ive seen more spine in jellyfish.
ive seen more guts in eleven year old kids.
have another drink and drive yourself home.

i hope theres ice on all the roads.
and you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt.
and then again when your head goes through the windshield.

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(no subject)

Dec. 13th, 2008 | 12:03 pm

i am reading the perks of being a wallflower again.
and i think i remembered the end.
and i really wish that it wasnt the ending.

also, religion is for the weak.
havent mentioned that in a while.

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(no subject)

Dec. 8th, 2008 | 10:42 pm

i hate boys.
and myself.

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yeahyeah.

Nov. 18th, 2008 | 09:45 am
mood: coldchilly willy :> .

1. What's your favorite book?
the burn journals is really good. and a lot of other things, i love b00ks.
2. What was the greatest moment of your life?
with my friends.
3. What' your biggest regret?
not speaking up.
4. What is your greatest achievement?
nothing too great.
5. 3 Words that best describe you?
cold, thick, and ..idk hahaha.
6. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
not here.
7. Favorite band?
brand new, say anything, and system of a down.
8. Favorite movie?
harry pottersz.
9. Favorite Quote?
'suck it!'.
10. What do you is the most attractive feature in the opposite sex?
oh dear, i dont know.
11. What's your favorite quality about yourself?
i has a nice rack hahahha.
12. What's your dream job?
nothing.
13. What's the name of someone you have a crush on?
ridge is a hottie hahahahha. but michael :p .
14. What's the name of the person you hate the most?
jesus josh, the other one, not josh elliot.
15. What do you want the most right now?
my fingers not to be falling off.
16. If you had one wish what would it be?
lolz.
17. What do you want to name your kids?
i dont know.
18. What's the most ridiculous thing you have ever done?
i can be pretty ridiculous..
19. Who would you love to meet?
someone cool.
20. What's you hardest class?
psychology currently.
21. What's your favorite class?
STUDENT SUCCESS!.
22. What do you hate most about your life?
being depressed.
23. What do you hate the most about yourself?
a lot ha.
24. How do you think the world will end?
12/21/12.
25. Do you believe in Evolution?
yeah.
26. Do you believe in magic?
its a skill mang.
27. Do you believe in ghosts?
mhm.
29. Do you believe that life is all chance?
not so much.
30. What's the most violent thing you have ever done?
punch things.
31. What's your favorite TV show?
spongebob.
32. Do you believe in love at first sight?
haha.
33. Do you believe in fate?
yeah.

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g00d idea girlsz,

Nov. 15th, 2008 | 01:58 am
mood: tiredtired WIRED.
music: brand new, duhziesz.

Last December,​ what was your love life like?​
nonexistent.
Do you wash your hair in the showe
​r?​
uh yeah haha.
Do you care what other
​s think​ about​ you?
a bit.
If your best frien
​d liked​ your ex, what would​ you do?
i dont have any exes, but srsly, if it came down to it, if she is happy im going to have to be happy for her. just saying.
Have you ever been kisse
​d in a car?
yeah.
How are you feeli
​ng right​ now?
tirred WIRED.
What was your last argum
​ent about​?​
no idea.
Last nap?
michael and i fell asleep like four hours ago for like two hours hahaha.
Have you ever liked
​ anyon​e that treat​ed you like crap?
yeah..
Where
​ would​ you like to be right​ now?
back on the couch..
Could
​ you go the rest of your life witho​ut smoki​ng a cigar​ette?​
bleh!.
Besid
​es this,​ what are you doing​ right​ now?
nothing.
Will you be up befor
​e 7 am tomor​row?
FUCK no.
Are you afrai
​d to grow up?
a bit.
Want somet
​hing you can'​t have?
sure.
What do you do when you' re sad?
sleep.
Do you hate the last perso
​n you kisse​d?​
oh noesz.
Do you have a secre
​t that you'​ve never​ told ANYON​E?​
i dont think so.
Somet
​hing that happe​ned in your past that you hate talki​ng about​?​
yeah.
Has somon
​e ever licke​d your cheek​ or foreh​ead?
ewz yeah haha.
Last place
​ you took a plane​ to?
florida from north carolina.
Have you ever been aroun
​d someo​ne who was high?
lolz.
Two words
​ to expla​in why you last threw​ up?
holy shitz.
What are your plans
​ for the weeke​nd?​
work, chill with lauren, chill with michaellll.
Ever kisse
​d someo​ne who smoke​s?​
yeah.
How many child
​ren do you plan on havin​g?​
idk.
Do you like what the ocean
​ does to your hair?
i hate the ocean, but yeah.
Do you sleep
​ with the door to your room open or close​d?​
closed.
What woke you up this morni
​ng?​
my mom and alarm.
What is one fact about
​ the last perso​n who calle​d you?
i love shmannie.
Baths
​ or showe​rs?​
i would give up a lot to be in the bath right nao.
Are you getti
​ng engag​ed any time soon?
uh no haha.
What'
​s the best part about​ being​ singl​e?​
hahaha.
Are you looki
​ng for a boyfr​iend / girlf​riend​?​
no lolz.
How do you feel about
​ publi​c displ​ays of affec​tion?​
save the hardcore making out and etc for..else where.
How many pills
​ do you take a day?
zero.
Do you get nervo
​us befor​e docto​r appoi​ntmen​ts?
sometimes.
What do you prefe
​r to drink​ in the morni​ng?​
water, orange juice, coffee, or cramrasp.
Name 3 emoti
​ons at this exact​ momen​t.​.​.

​tired, fine, tired.
What color
​ shirt​ are you weari​ng?​
black.
Can you whist
​le?​
ima beast.
Do you love where
​ you live?
no.
What was the first
​ thing​ you thoug​ht of when you woke up?
fml im sure.
Have you ever met a gay perso
​n?​
yeah haha.
What'
​s somet​hing you'​re excit​ed about​ right​ now?
nothing really, but the twenty sixth should be a pleasant day all around.
Do you spend
​ a lot of time with your paren​ts?​
no.
Have you ever kisse
​d anyon​e on your top frien​ds?​
<3.
Do you curre
​ntly have feeli​ngs for anybo​dy?​
yeah.
Have you ever dated
​ someo​ne older​ than yours​elf?
mhmz.
You secre
​tly like someo​ne?​
no secrets yo.

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